remember me

drunk so whats new
still here
scary guy is still scary and......yeah still here thats all
fucking shit woudl people stop texting me I am TRYING to do a POST
FUCKL

ssssooooon i will be done with the troubles with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world donewiththetroubles of the world going home to live withgod
run mary run run mary run i say run mary run i've got a righ to the tree of life
wading the water wading the wawter wading the water wading thew ater

mary keepd coming over but she can.t its dabgerous, ruuuuuuuuun mary, do youb iven exist, singing agaihb singin

jay si no the rum again

and that means i am on the bar. like, giving people drinks? i can mix stuff. someone is asleep and everyone is drawing dicks all of theve them. i expescted jay to be at the top of the pack ors ometihng but zie is just staring at the corner and  I jsut

i just don't see nayhting there. but jay has a look on zir face like zies' bac a while back when thins were werse and the man was blleeeding out heads and was in our eys and everyone was going t die so we had to go waway. it's liek Jay is in that place where it doesn't matter how much drink you drink becaus eit's never numb enoguh or soemthing? I've beendrinkign tonight ein case you couldn't tell

but yes there si a guya ththe bar who is usjt drinking coors who even drinks coors anwyay? But he's stiitng there, and he's got this simell like pot, skunsk probably because that shit stinks, but he's a bit bloodrhosotted and he's wearing a monocle so I think ti's fucking moniontcle guy but what do I do? I can't call him out, not here, not with jay with the fafr away face and me with onthing to got on. and theres kids sleeping down below and thins guys just gotta go away maybe if

maybe fi I have another two shots of vodka jay will be happeier and fucking moncile guy will og the fuck away

just gotta keep my eyes open also
there's something wrong somewhere always
but it always seems to be here

god so pretentious, you don't have anyone to impress any more, alex. just jay.

there is a 16 year old girl trying to inspire me right now

and it's working like I'm tearing up[
I have drunk so much rum tonight you fuckers
and that son of a bitch is still sitting in the corner waiting
I can't fight him okay I jsut can't he's just ogint to oout wait-me he's just goint ot wait
alex was right he's not going t og oaway no mater how much I drink
what do I do what do I do wjhat do I do
I'm so fucking scared and I can't take my eyse off him unless he moves he moves behind my eyes

horrible just horrible
I almost wish I were cutting again jesus

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can;t type right fucking shit man someone fucking hadkced us with binary bullshit I mean srsl wtf
Alex is ognna fucking kill me for my shtity internet speek zie hates that shit but wtf don't care at all ok you kno what alex gona use a gif right now so deal with it

DEAL WITH IT I THINK
hope this shit woarks anyway fucking tech inept motherfuckers that skinny FUCK is messing shit up with computers ok I just can't
get him
alex is supposed to be the strong one I'm spsoet do be the fuckup but alex is fucking up zie 's too scared and I can't be the strog one ok i'm too stupid and fuckd up ok I just can't do it so alex please wake up please be brave I can't I cant
hes here ok just can't stop lookng at him i want more beer and then just just just let me go to sleep I nweed to sober up or get drunker drink til i die

shit shit shit shhy its

shit hacked the accout shit fuckin bastard sghutut mornoal coug guy shitting why the shit do you knowt leavr us bea. you cuntface cunter i hate you stabbing allex all up in zire fancy face cunt cuttering all through that cunting booollkas i mean balls. monocle guy nobosy likes binary it is the ecunts. funny wrods all swearly and stuff i think drujkn talking cunting balls your face looks like ab mansk becaus eit is because it is like th face of someone else and layers faujnc. erternally [artying

we're all dsea you know.all dsrear. all dead. like fog in our minds

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crcyuing

cant I can't I can't.

Jay is drinking and zie's laughing but there's a fucking crazy outside our window and he was there when I woke up that night and he just watches and he never moves except sometimes he's behind the back of the bar on the windo by the stair snad he just stares more than thte talll guy. the tall guy just painted our living room with blood one day. my brain just lsides from what it looked like because i jstu coudlen't and we covered up with paint but i can see it on the insides of my eeyes a place tood ark and too close antd not far enogh away. and iw as crying. the tall guy painted the room and the blood was from a little girl but we don't know for sure, she just showed up dead wone day. but there was blood all over the room the day she went missing.

just ggotta drink and smile and fill the hosue with sex and drugs and people because he won't come if there are too many people here he won't come if the house is full fill the house fill the brain. It's fuzz, like his distortion, but to keep the world away. I have to find some chick who likes my face so i can fuck her and ignore that we're alone and we're going to die. the blood is bleeidng through the walls I don'tw ant to look at them. need to sip a cup of something undrinkable ger away from the people towards the people stay wawy from the windows please get me another another

that guy dude

There is a guy outside. I don't know what he's doing. Standing. He has a mask. With a monocle. MOnocle mask! Do they make monocle masks? Mayve he had to make it herself. Hiself. It'self. I wonder why maks guy is outside. They need a name? Maybe some mask related name that is clever or something.

I KNOW! SINCLAIR!

SO sinclair is standing outside. And it si creeeeepy. I should go outside with ashotgun or something. BAM! Clint Eastwood. Get off my lawn. Though I don't have a lawn. I have a sidewalk. But I still wnt to do that. BAM!

I awnt a moncle. Totally want a moncle. Maybe i;ll take it from Sincliar. stupid guy on my lawn.

It's like there are rules

Like that you arent really an alvoholic if you fdrink with friends but when ew go out you realise that you're always drinking alone. You're alwasy dirnking alone. I don't even know if the people at this party are really people or if they're jsut the ivoice is in the heads agin. Even if there are peopela roudn you look around and there aren't people tehre. Is there anyone around? Oh good Jay is here. As long as Jay is here it'll be okay.

God hzie as drunk wayy too mucha again. Looks liek zie's about too puke, or fuck zis bleeding.

We'll eb back later, I swear. Blood and puke, jsut a regualr Saturday afternoon, right.

alex

This part is not happening so drop and stop

and rewind rewind rewind

There's nobody in thie house again. Tried to talk to the guy on the couch but it turns out he doesn't exist. Tell him to exist but he doesn't believe me.

Jay keeps singing because he thinks there's a careoke. karoeke. kareoke going on. Or because zie's going crazy. tryign to lock the door again or unlock it. or maybe I should just get more dbeer.

now zie's crying again. idiot. We should do something. Haven't left the apartment for a while but don't want to do that again. unless there's a party or something. really need more booze as well. So I guess I ahve to.

lights flickered. it's okay.

-alex

here ok here

said I'd post said I'd post said i'd post said i'd post
someone's doing coke in the bathroom
or no wait I'm imagining it it's 2 am no way and I'm not at a party I' in my own house
all alone

all alone

wjen did this stop beinga joke

fuck

FUCK
FUCK

FUCK



FUCK


JUST
NEVRMIND
JUST FUCK EVERYTHING
I HATE THIS SHIT
i hate this shit

Drinking the hair of the dog that bit me

Okay.
So I'm not exactly drinking the hair of the dog that bit me BUT i am drinking the hair of the dog I bit after another dog bit me, and by bit me i meaned BURNED ME WITH HIS HANDS i mean, wazs this because I didn't buy you a drink dude? I mean, fucking Jay was triing to buy you one before h went off to enjoy the benefits of john. John being the fucking bathroom. I hate bloggin and I hate Jay, so fucking stupid but's my best firend and shit anyway so. well. drinking. Just got up and it's the afternoon or something, not doing too well on that fornt. or doing REALLY WELL on that front. Or I need another glass of whiskey. or something.

my arm really hurts. because of HIS HANDS UBRN PEOPLE YOU COULD GET LOCKED UP FOR THAT OR AT LEAST NOT GET VERY GOOD SERVICE IN PUBS OW. it really hurts and everytime I move it hurts more so getting more booze makes it hurt. maybe if i pour some whisky on itas';dfghjls'kl;nb< ?>zcfg



That did not work. nobody tell Jay about htis right? ze had a really read the blgo anyway so theres no point btu  I DON'T KNOW THIS STUFF I DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS WHERK FUCK WHERE'S THE BOOZE
this was alesx by the way.

DANCIN!

LIVING IT UP LIKE A BLOODY CHAMP! I got a date tomorrow, and I'm dancin! I am Dancin like a champ! God I love dancin! WHEEE!

In all seriousness, totally need to relax a bit. Had the bartender buy suity a drink! Although, he didn't notice suity, and was very confused when I kept demanding it!

Weird suity suity suit guy! Suity. I like saying that. Suity suity suity. Like when you're calling a pig. SOUUUUIIIIIIE!

There's only one proper response to this! Grab another beer. And then a bourbon. And then a scotch. And then get George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers to blast through the wall like the Kool-Aid man and perform their damn song.

Gonna go pray to the procelain goddess now. She requires and offering of puke and gropey uncomfortable barely conscious sex.

-J

goddammit Alex

Alex is all trying to be coherent what is zie trying to prove

whatever bitch/basterd/whatever. I can hold my own just watch me. Fucking sobering up by force of will righttttttt.....NOW.

That tall fucker is still here. Worst party crasher I swear. But he's more than that I think. Scares Alex bad. I dunno maybe because he only shows up when I'm drunk but I am not scared of him. Alex is fucking around idek what zie's doing. Zie's saying something about fields. Magnetic fields? Zie fucking lovves that band and with good reason but i dunno if that's what zie's talking about right now.
fuck I have the spins. HEY let's finish this sixpack. or get into awkward emotional confessions now becaus god dammit i am scared. of the guy yes. but because of other things too. but mostly the tall guy. Please don't look at me with that faceless face anymore I can't handle it
don't LOOK AT ME
GET AWAY fuck oh fuck get away from alex get away from hir please oh please just leave us alone if I keep on drinking will you leave us alone

oh hey another bottle yes

The Man Who Isn't There

Yeah so I'm Alex and I'd be probably as drunk as Jay right now but honestly the fact that we've been getting drunk to get rid of the faceless asshole because we heard it worked somewhere keeps scaring me sober. Not sober enough, since I keep typing wrong shit but okay, so he shows up at your normal state of consciousness so why not try to go to a different one to get rid of him, I mean what else can you do? So we have been drinking and smoking and it's been making Jay a little more oblivious to how fucking pants shittingly terrifying he is but damn he's there or he's not at the same time. So how the fuck is that right I mean god.


Jay is really fucking shit in the head and I am starting to think that these aren't our real names. I need more drink. I feel like the whole faceless guy thing might click into place in the place drunk and high go to play together. Something about fields. Jay is being a total dipshit about this, or maybe getting waaaaay too into it or something, like roleplaying gone horribly wrong.


but anyway need to do waaaaay more drinking before I' am comparitively understandabble okay I think the viodka just h kicked in a bit more but I rthink i'm supposed ot be writngins seomthing.

HI GUYS

IT'S BEEN FOREVER I DUNNO HOW TO TAKE OFF CAPSLOCK SO
YEAH

FUCKING MUMFORD AND SONS ULTIMATE DRUNK MUSIC

THERE WILL SOON BE A POST FROM MY GENDER NEUTRAL BRO ALEX WHO IS FUCKING BAWSSSSSSS
BUT YEAH SCHOOL IS OVER FOR THE YEAR SO FUCK THAT SHIT SUMMERTIME IS THE RIGHT TIME OR DO I MEAN THE NIGHT TIME IS THE RIGHT TIME OR WHATEVER
UH SO ANYWAY i guess oh shiiiiiiit capslock is off WAT DO?
ANYWAY me and my bro alex were talking hipster shit all night so like we win at life all fucking around on tumblr and skype MY GOD WE ARE ON THE ITNERNET SO MUCH.
uh so there's this skinny motherfucker who shows up all the time and he's a fucking buzzkill did I talk about him before? He's a dick
his face is all fucked? IDK
ANYWAY

FUCKING MOMFORD AND SUNS
OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT

Fucking swaying and shit oh man this fucking guy wheres is face ast this is silly man, just fucking silly.

moar beers? BEERS FOR FEERS YHS I MEAN YES
Whatever bros i ain't even mad that you dind't ask me out to the bar, having a good time with my internet friends and all and Alex bro what is with this facelsss fucker he is like bad newsssss
man should i stop posting naaaaah fuck that I'mma make a copy lol jokes no one gets but me whateverrrrrr

BACK TO TUMBLR FOR FUCKING TEXTS FROM GLEE LATER FUCKERSSSSSS

ANYWAY WHATEVER

FUCK THAT FOOL i coulda drunk him under the table but uh I didn't. So you know whateves because um fuck that guy
Goddamn I am coughing like crazy this is bullshit. Some fucking dude is making me cough, or wait that doesn't make sense fuck
whahahaha my friend "I have family issues too, theyre about....CHOCOLATE"
I love drinking good grief
wtf is with this skinny dude he's freaking me out dude fuck off get away from me for reals your suit is so shitty and like, unfashionable

wooooooooooooot

So drinking guy under table didn't work. But I met this other guy at the bar were I tried who did more or less everything for a twenny.
even locking guy in a room until he had sex with him. Lolz wer had.

When he finalley found his way out of twenny-dudes big kickass viking beard and whined around for feeling violated I told him how that was totally innocent and he totally didn't get what tham MEANT!

So I barfed, yeah, nd I lost a drinking contest. But my viking won.
bye.
-J

So Person-I-Like and I are at the bar, and totally tells me about how guy joining us locked Person in a room until she'd have sex with him. Apparently, he was innocent, and totally didn't get what that MEANT.

As we left the bar, they totally spent ten minutes just hugging each other and talking in front of Person-I-Like's car. Person-I-Like trying to tell him that Person is graduating, and won't be talking to guy anymore.

I'm okay though. Totally just had my...elevendy-billionth drink. It's making me think. I have a cunning plan. Gonna save the day by outdrinking him, and showing Person-I-Like how awesome I am. It'll be totally awesome.

Passing out now.

-J

this is the third post of somethign

SO I WAS gtalking to rororo and he said that it wasn't my fault and then thing shappend and my window broke and stuff

so I fucked someone and then windos

Ohay

Okays so I'm totally sober now. Okay so I'm J, no wait I was already writing about that. I really want to talk about how I was kitting on this chick and she was totally going for it and then her like frat bro boyfriend came up and was like I'm going to leave now and the bastard punched me in the face and shit

I'm just all bloody nosed and stuff. Bastard, bet he has a tiny dick.

so yeah, apart ddrom that I've ogt finals and stuff with finals and shit and just busy buys bys but enough time to drink ig uess. :D ::D

Begin!

Hay gaiz my name's J (lol common name) and I ain't sayin whether I'm a boy or a girl. I'm not sure what's going on outside my window right now but it sounds like someone's puking which is weird. Seriously, I've got my headphones on but someone's like, "RUAAAACH" outside my window and I think someone's hurling in my driveway which is SICK and I am MAD about it.

ANYWAY

How you doing, Internet? where you at bro? Everyewhere you say? Yeah I know how that is.

This is a short post and I gotta get back to studying for my finals. Later, the internet! You love me right? Yeahhhhh you totally love me.