Friday, January 18, 2013

Darkwing duck here again to offer profound scholarly wisdom to all you dumb fuckers whoare still following this weirdass blog story post thing that be dropping off your radar hard because no one else seems to really post here and it's just like whooooaaaa bro whhy you be postin here again and I just like because I fuckin feel like it ude I am drunk and I fuckin feel like it and that is why I be postin here again "bro".

Okay so like I've been havin some pretty damn seciours thoughts over here in the batduckcave and I've been thinkin about gender because I finally just bit the bullet and became a women and gender studies minor and holy shit is there some cools tuff goin on in those classes. Like for real. My friend Leon and I were just like Let's Take Classes Together" and so we did and its just been fanfuckinfantabulous because we just show u p and bust shit u uuuuuupppppp but then like I see Slender Man or whatever outside the window and I'm just like "SHIT MAN GET OUTTA HARRR" and then I stop and I check my privilege and I'm like... wait a second am I a b ad person?

Because like
Think about it
Just think about it for just
Just one thecond
Like... why do we even call this thingie Slender Man? I mean like sure it presents as a pretty masculine figure with its big bald head and fine suit and squared proportions and distinct lack of curves but like... does that really make it a Man? Has anyone gone up to our pal and been like hey so like i don't think anyone has asked you your pronoun preferences and I don't wanna migenderyou so what's goin on up there with your gender identity yo? I really doubt we have and I mean sure we don't know if this thing even speaks our language or whatever and you'd prolly just be ripped apart into a puddle of crimson, blood pouring from every orifice as those black tendrils, dark as night, slowly work their way into your weak human flesh, creating divots and holes in your pathetic body, causing unimaginable pain as they penetrate you and cleanse you of everything that is life, leaving only a devoid husk of what you once were for others to find and scream and ponder over.

My point is, I think we're being pretty cissexist by calling this thing Slender Man. The proper term should be Slender Person, and this will be the term I adopt from this point on.


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Okay so like this isn't my blog and shit. No really it isn't. I just kinda wandered in here like a total fucking drunken drunkard who drunk his way about drinking to get her drink on with some drunks but there were no other drunks just the drunken drunk who drank at the beginngin which is the drunk who is me.

So apparently these other drinky drunks got drunk and saw a faceless thing guy who like did things or something apparently I dunno what I'm too drunk to particularly care or read over it very thourgohly I just kinda figure, hey, what the hell, I'll just see if I can get into this blog and then I can post something because fuuuuck I do like to type and ramble when I'm drunk and look at that I scored their email through greeping and their password was carelessly written so BOOM here the fuck I am.

Now who the fuck am I, you may be asking? I am the terror that stalks and/or quacks in the night. Take your pick if I'm fucking Darkwing Duck or The Batman. Don't forget the fucking The. We goin old school with this shit tonight. Like, 1940's badass old sckoll.

Basically I'm just like... I dunno what I am. You may call me... well shit we just got over that. Either way, I'm help. See, these people who were here? They haven't been here. Why? I'm gonna guess it's motherfuckin Slender shit.

You know why I'm here?

If you guessed motherfucking Slender Shit then you guessed motherfucking right (motherfucker).

Long story short: Slender Man be fuckin real yo. Real as the whiskey that's pumpin through my veins and real as any non-binary gender. Which is pretty damn real. I can attest to both. And slendy be rippin peeps up and droppin em like they're hot.

And... Shit where was I going with this?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

a thousand years later

i turned 21 and we had to run away from oour apartment because monocle and faceless were all up in there and then alex turned 21 and then wwe weere just running and runnign and runnign
so then I fell in lvoe with joan of arc and then she didnt love me back but that's ok and then faceless caught up and he was burning me at stake but that was just a dream

and then alex was a dream and then I was a dream

pulled us out of the dreams last week alex did and now we're runing again like a marathon where the prise iz us winning life! which sounds motivational but w/e I have no motivation just sleeping for a really long time
fuck off alex i'm tired
how's zie so strong all the time
zies probs the only reason we're alive huh

um so anyway more summary of what happened since last year right um
well we ran across the us and by ran I mean took busses and shti
joan of arc is still in california and faceless never found her so at least theres that and alex and me are still together just drinking our tits off and by tits i mean gender-neutral euquivalent thereof
remember when we were in college and i typed these sentences for real

anayway hi we're back kinda til that fucking guy shows up agaisng

Saturday, October 8, 2011

remember me

drunk so whats new
still here
scary guy is still scary and......yeah still here thats all
fucking shit woudl people stop texting me I am TRYING to do a POST

Friday, August 5, 2011

ssssooooon i will be done with the troubles with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world donewiththetroubles of the world going home to live withgod
run mary run run mary run i say run mary run i've got a righ to the tree of life
wading the water wading the wawter wading the water wading thew ater

mary keepd coming over but she can.t its dabgerous, ruuuuuuuuun mary, do youb iven exist, singing agaihb singin

Thursday, July 28, 2011

jay si no the rum again

and that means i am on the bar. like, giving people drinks? i can mix stuff. someone is asleep and everyone is drawing dicks all of theve them. i expescted jay to be at the top of the pack ors ometihng but zie is just staring at the corner and  I jsut

i just don't see nayhting there. but jay has a look on zir face like zies' bac a while back when thins were werse and the man was blleeeding out heads and was in our eys and everyone was going t die so we had to go waway. it's liek Jay is in that place where it doesn't matter how much drink you drink becaus eit's never numb enoguh or soemthing? I've beendrinkign tonight ein case you couldn't tell

but yes there si a guya ththe bar who is usjt drinking coors who even drinks coors anwyay? But he's stiitng there, and he's got this simell like pot, skunsk probably because that shit stinks, but he's a bit bloodrhosotted and he's wearing a monocle so I think ti's fucking moniontcle guy but what do I do? I can't call him out, not here, not with jay with the fafr away face and me with onthing to got on. and theres kids sleeping down below and thins guys just gotta go away maybe if

maybe fi I have another two shots of vodka jay will be happeier and fucking moncile guy will og the fuck away

just gotta keep my eyes open also
there's something wrong somewhere always
but it always seems to be here

god so pretentious, you don't have anyone to impress any more, alex. just jay.

there is a 16 year old girl trying to inspire me right now

and it's working like I'm tearing up[
I have drunk so much rum tonight you fuckers
and that son of a bitch is still sitting in the corner waiting
I can't fight him okay I jsut can't he's just ogint to oout wait-me he's just goint ot wait
alex was right he's not going t og oaway no mater how much I drink
what do I do what do I do wjhat do I do
I'm so fucking scared and I can't take my eyse off him unless he moves he moves behind my eyes

horrible just horrible
I almost wish I were cutting again jesus