jay si no the rum again

and that means i am on the bar. like, giving people drinks? i can mix stuff. someone is asleep and everyone is drawing dicks all of theve them. i expescted jay to be at the top of the pack ors ometihng but zie is just staring at the corner and  I jsut

i just don't see nayhting there. but jay has a look on zir face like zies' bac a while back when thins were werse and the man was blleeeding out heads and was in our eys and everyone was going t die so we had to go waway. it's liek Jay is in that place where it doesn't matter how much drink you drink becaus eit's never numb enoguh or soemthing? I've beendrinkign tonight ein case you couldn't tell

but yes there si a guya ththe bar who is usjt drinking coors who even drinks coors anwyay? But he's stiitng there, and he's got this simell like pot, skunsk probably because that shit stinks, but he's a bit bloodrhosotted and he's wearing a monocle so I think ti's fucking moniontcle guy but what do I do? I can't call him out, not here, not with jay with the fafr away face and me with onthing to got on. and theres kids sleeping down below and thins guys just gotta go away maybe if

maybe fi I have another two shots of vodka jay will be happeier and fucking moncile guy will og the fuck away

just gotta keep my eyes open also
there's something wrong somewhere always
but it always seems to be here

god so pretentious, you don't have anyone to impress any more, alex. just jay.

there is a 16 year old girl trying to inspire me right now

and it's working like I'm tearing up[
I have drunk so much rum tonight you fuckers
and that son of a bitch is still sitting in the corner waiting
I can't fight him okay I jsut can't he's just ogint to oout wait-me he's just goint ot wait
alex was right he's not going t og oaway no mater how much I drink
what do I do what do I do wjhat do I do
I'm so fucking scared and I can't take my eyse off him unless he moves he moves behind my eyes

horrible just horrible
I almost wish I were cutting again jesus

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can;t type right fucking shit man someone fucking hadkced us with binary bullshit I mean srsl wtf
Alex is ognna fucking kill me for my shtity internet speek zie hates that shit but wtf don't care at all ok you kno what alex gona use a gif right now so deal with it

DEAL WITH IT I THINK
hope this shit woarks anyway fucking tech inept motherfuckers that skinny FUCK is messing shit up with computers ok I just can't
get him
alex is supposed to be the strong one I'm spsoet do be the fuckup but alex is fucking up zie 's too scared and I can't be the strog one ok i'm too stupid and fuckd up ok I just can't do it so alex please wake up please be brave I can't I cant
hes here ok just can't stop lookng at him i want more beer and then just just just let me go to sleep I nweed to sober up or get drunker drink til i die

shit shit shit shhy its

shit hacked the accout shit fuckin bastard sghutut mornoal coug guy shitting why the shit do you knowt leavr us bea. you cuntface cunter i hate you stabbing allex all up in zire fancy face cunt cuttering all through that cunting booollkas i mean balls. monocle guy nobosy likes binary it is the ecunts. funny wrods all swearly and stuff i think drujkn talking cunting balls your face looks like ab mansk becaus eit is because it is like th face of someone else and layers faujnc. erternally [artying

we're all dsea you know.all dsrear. all dead. like fog in our minds

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crcyuing

cant I can't I can't.

Jay is drinking and zie's laughing but there's a fucking crazy outside our window and he was there when I woke up that night and he just watches and he never moves except sometimes he's behind the back of the bar on the windo by the stair snad he just stares more than thte talll guy. the tall guy just painted our living room with blood one day. my brain just lsides from what it looked like because i jstu coudlen't and we covered up with paint but i can see it on the insides of my eeyes a place tood ark and too close antd not far enogh away. and iw as crying. the tall guy painted the room and the blood was from a little girl but we don't know for sure, she just showed up dead wone day. but there was blood all over the room the day she went missing.

just ggotta drink and smile and fill the hosue with sex and drugs and people because he won't come if there are too many people here he won't come if the house is full fill the house fill the brain. It's fuzz, like his distortion, but to keep the world away. I have to find some chick who likes my face so i can fuck her and ignore that we're alone and we're going to die. the blood is bleeidng through the walls I don'tw ant to look at them. need to sip a cup of something undrinkable ger away from the people towards the people stay wawy from the windows please get me another another

that guy dude

There is a guy outside. I don't know what he's doing. Standing. He has a mask. With a monocle. MOnocle mask! Do they make monocle masks? Mayve he had to make it herself. Hiself. It'self. I wonder why maks guy is outside. They need a name? Maybe some mask related name that is clever or something.

I KNOW! SINCLAIR!

SO sinclair is standing outside. And it si creeeeepy. I should go outside with ashotgun or something. BAM! Clint Eastwood. Get off my lawn. Though I don't have a lawn. I have a sidewalk. But I still wnt to do that. BAM!

I awnt a moncle. Totally want a moncle. Maybe i;ll take it from Sincliar. stupid guy on my lawn.

It's like there are rules

Like that you arent really an alvoholic if you fdrink with friends but when ew go out you realise that you're always drinking alone. You're alwasy dirnking alone. I don't even know if the people at this party are really people or if they're jsut the ivoice is in the heads agin. Even if there are peopela roudn you look around and there aren't people tehre. Is there anyone around? Oh good Jay is here. As long as Jay is here it'll be okay.

God hzie as drunk wayy too mucha again. Looks liek zie's about too puke, or fuck zis bleeding.

We'll eb back later, I swear. Blood and puke, jsut a regualr Saturday afternoon, right.

alex

This part is not happening so drop and stop

and rewind rewind rewind

There's nobody in thie house again. Tried to talk to the guy on the couch but it turns out he doesn't exist. Tell him to exist but he doesn't believe me.

Jay keeps singing because he thinks there's a careoke. karoeke. kareoke going on. Or because zie's going crazy. tryign to lock the door again or unlock it. or maybe I should just get more dbeer.

now zie's crying again. idiot. We should do something. Haven't left the apartment for a while but don't want to do that again. unless there's a party or something. really need more booze as well. So I guess I ahve to.

lights flickered. it's okay.

-alex

here ok here

said I'd post said I'd post said i'd post said i'd post
someone's doing coke in the bathroom
or no wait I'm imagining it it's 2 am no way and I'm not at a party I' in my own house
all alone

all alone

wjen did this stop beinga joke

fuck

FUCK
FUCK

FUCK



FUCK


JUST
NEVRMIND
JUST FUCK EVERYTHING
I HATE THIS SHIT
i hate this shit