Darkwing duck here again to offer profound scholarly wisdom to all you dumb fuckers whoare still following this weirdass blog story post thing that be dropping off your radar hard because no one else seems to really post here and it's just like whooooaaaa bro whhy you be postin here again and I just like because I fuckin feel like it ude I am drunk and I fuckin feel like it and that is why I be postin here again "bro".

Okay so like I've been havin some pretty damn seciours thoughts over here in the batduckcave and I've been thinkin about gender because I finally just bit the bullet and became a women and gender studies minor and holy shit is there some cools tuff goin on in those classes. Like for real. My friend Leon and I were just like Let's Take Classes Together" and so we did and its just been fanfuckinfantabulous because we just show u p and bust shit u uuuuuupppppp but then like I see Slender Man or whatever outside the window and I'm just like "SHIT MAN GET OUTTA HARRR" and then I stop and I check my privilege and I'm like... wait a second am I a b ad person?

Because like
Think about it
Just think about it for just
Just one thecond
Like... why do we even call this thingie Slender Man? I mean like sure it presents as a pretty masculine figure with its big bald head and fine suit and squared proportions and distinct lack of curves but like... does that really make it a Man? Has anyone gone up to our pal and been like hey so like i don't think anyone has asked you your pronoun preferences and I don't wanna migenderyou so what's goin on up there with your gender identity yo? I really doubt we have and I mean sure we don't know if this thing even speaks our language or whatever and you'd prolly just be ripped apart into a puddle of crimson, blood pouring from every orifice as those black tendrils, dark as night, slowly work their way into your weak human flesh, creating divots and holes in your pathetic body, causing unimaginable pain as they penetrate you and cleanse you of everything that is life, leaving only a devoid husk of what you once were for others to find and scream and ponder over.

My point is, I think we're being pretty cissexist by calling this thing Slender Man. The proper term should be Slender Person, and this will be the term I adopt from this point on.

SO FUCK OFF SLENDER PERSON. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HALLWAY YOU DOUCHE

Okay so like this isn't my blog and shit. No really it isn't. I just kinda wandered in here like a total fucking drunken drunkard who drunk his way about drinking to get her drink on with some drunks but there were no other drunks just the drunken drunk who drank at the beginngin which is the drunk who is me.

So apparently these other drinky drunks got drunk and saw a faceless thing guy who like did things or something apparently I dunno what I'm too drunk to particularly care or read over it very thourgohly I just kinda figure, hey, what the hell, I'll just see if I can get into this blog and then I can post something because fuuuuck I do like to type and ramble when I'm drunk and look at that I scored their email through greeping and their password was carelessly written so BOOM here the fuck I am.

Now who the fuck am I, you may be asking? I am the terror that stalks and/or quacks in the night. Take your pick if I'm fucking Darkwing Duck or The Batman. Don't forget the fucking The. We goin old school with this shit tonight. Like, 1940's badass old sckoll.

Basically I'm just like... I dunno what I am. You may call me... well shit we just got over that. Either way, I'm help. See, these people who were here? They haven't been here. Why? I'm gonna guess it's motherfuckin Slender shit.

You know why I'm here?

If you guessed motherfucking Slender Shit then you guessed motherfucking right (motherfucker).

Long story short: Slender Man be fuckin real yo. Real as the whiskey that's pumpin through my veins and real as any non-binary gender. Which is pretty damn real. I can attest to both. And slendy be rippin peeps up and droppin em like they're hot.

And... Shit where was I going with this?

a thousand years later

i turned 21 and we had to run away from oour apartment because monocle and faceless were all up in there and then alex turned 21 and then wwe weere just running and runnign and runnign
so then I fell in lvoe with joan of arc and then she didnt love me back but that's ok and then faceless caught up and he was burning me at stake but that was just a dream

and then alex was a dream and then I was a dream

pulled us out of the dreams last week alex did and now we're runing again like a marathon where the prise iz us winning life! which sounds motivational but w/e I have no motivation just sleeping for a really long time
fuck off alex i'm tired
how's zie so strong all the time
zies probs the only reason we're alive huh
a

um so anyway more summary of what happened since last year right um
well we ran across the us and by ran I mean took busses and shti
joan of arc is still in california and faceless never found her so at least theres that and alex and me are still together just drinking our tits off and by tits i mean gender-neutral euquivalent thereof
remember when we were in college and i typed these sentences for real




anayway hi we're back kinda til that fucking guy shows up agaisng

remember me

drunk so whats new
still here
scary guy is still scary and......yeah still here thats all
fucking shit woudl people stop texting me I am TRYING to do a POST
FUCKL

ssssooooon i will be done with the troubles with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world with the troubles of the world donewiththetroubles of the world going home to live withgod
run mary run run mary run i say run mary run i've got a righ to the tree of life
wading the water wading the wawter wading the water wading thew ater

mary keepd coming over but she can.t its dabgerous, ruuuuuuuuun mary, do youb iven exist, singing agaihb singin

jay si no the rum again

and that means i am on the bar. like, giving people drinks? i can mix stuff. someone is asleep and everyone is drawing dicks all of theve them. i expescted jay to be at the top of the pack ors ometihng but zie is just staring at the corner and  I jsut

i just don't see nayhting there. but jay has a look on zir face like zies' bac a while back when thins were werse and the man was blleeeding out heads and was in our eys and everyone was going t die so we had to go waway. it's liek Jay is in that place where it doesn't matter how much drink you drink becaus eit's never numb enoguh or soemthing? I've beendrinkign tonight ein case you couldn't tell

but yes there si a guya ththe bar who is usjt drinking coors who even drinks coors anwyay? But he's stiitng there, and he's got this simell like pot, skunsk probably because that shit stinks, but he's a bit bloodrhosotted and he's wearing a monocle so I think ti's fucking moniontcle guy but what do I do? I can't call him out, not here, not with jay with the fafr away face and me with onthing to got on. and theres kids sleeping down below and thins guys just gotta go away maybe if

maybe fi I have another two shots of vodka jay will be happeier and fucking moncile guy will og the fuck away

just gotta keep my eyes open also
there's something wrong somewhere always
but it always seems to be here

god so pretentious, you don't have anyone to impress any more, alex. just jay.

there is a 16 year old girl trying to inspire me right now

and it's working like I'm tearing up[
I have drunk so much rum tonight you fuckers
and that son of a bitch is still sitting in the corner waiting
I can't fight him okay I jsut can't he's just ogint to oout wait-me he's just goint ot wait
alex was right he's not going t og oaway no mater how much I drink
what do I do what do I do wjhat do I do
I'm so fucking scared and I can't take my eyse off him unless he moves he moves behind my eyes

horrible just horrible
I almost wish I were cutting again jesus

011000100111010101100111011001110110010101110010011110010010000001100001011011100110010000100000011000100110111101101110011001110010000001101000011010010111010001110011

010010000110000101101000011000010110100001100001011010000110000101101000011000010010000001101111011010000010000001101101011000010110111000100000010010011001001000111011011011010010000001110011011011110010000001110011011010000100100101110100011001100110000101100011011001010110010000100000011010000110000101101000001000000110111101101000001000000110011001110101011000110110101100100000011011010110010100100000010010010011101110010010001110110110111000100000011001110110100000100000011000100110100001001001011001110110100000100000011000010111001100100000011000010010000001100110011101010110001101101011010010010110111001100111001000000110101101001001010010010100100101001001010010010100100101001001010010010100100101001001010010010100100101110100011001010010000001101111011010000010000001110011001000000110100001001001011101000010000001001001001000000110010001110010011011110111000001110000011001010110010000100000011011010111100100100000011001100111010100100000011000110110101101001001011011100110011100100000011011010110111101101110011011110110001101101100011001010010000001101000011001010110010101101000011001010110010100100000011101000110100001100101011100110110010100100000011000100110000101110011011101000110000101110010011001000111001100100000011011100110010101100101011001000010000001110100011011110010000001101100011001010110000101110010011011100010000001110011011011110110110101100101001000000110011001110101011000110110101101001001011011100110011101101000001000000100100101101110011101000110010101110010011001010110111001110100011001010010000001110011011001010110001101110101011100100100100101110100011110010010000001101000011000010110100001100001001000000110111101101000001000000110011001110101011000110110101100101100001000000100100100100000011100110110100001101111011101010110110001100100001000000110110001001001011010110110010100100000011000100111010101100111011001110110010101110010001000000110111101101110011001010010000001101111011001100010000001110100011010000110010101101101001000000100100101101110001000000111010001101000011001010100100101110010001000000111001101101100011001010110010101110000001000000110111101110010001000000111001101101111011011010110010101110100011010000100100101101110011001110010000001101000011000010110100001100001001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000011101110110111101110101011011000110010000100000011101110110111101110101011011000110010000100000011000100110010100100000011100110110111100100000011001100111010100100000011000110110101101001001011011100100011100100000011000010111011101100101011100110110111101101101011001010010000001101000011000010100100001100001

can;t type right fucking shit man someone fucking hadkced us with binary bullshit I mean srsl wtf
Alex is ognna fucking kill me for my shtity internet speek zie hates that shit but wtf don't care at all ok you kno what alex gona use a gif right now so deal with it

DEAL WITH IT I THINK
hope this shit woarks anyway fucking tech inept motherfuckers that skinny FUCK is messing shit up with computers ok I just can't
get him
alex is supposed to be the strong one I'm spsoet do be the fuckup but alex is fucking up zie 's too scared and I can't be the strog one ok i'm too stupid and fuckd up ok I just can't do it so alex please wake up please be brave I can't I cant
hes here ok just can't stop lookng at him i want more beer and then just just just let me go to sleep I nweed to sober up or get drunker drink til i die

shit shit shit shhy its

shit hacked the accout shit fuckin bastard sghutut mornoal coug guy shitting why the shit do you knowt leavr us bea. you cuntface cunter i hate you stabbing allex all up in zire fancy face cunt cuttering all through that cunting booollkas i mean balls. monocle guy nobosy likes binary it is the ecunts. funny wrods all swearly and stuff i think drujkn talking cunting balls your face looks like ab mansk becaus eit is because it is like th face of someone else and layers faujnc. erternally [artying

we're all dsea you know.all dsrear. all dead. like fog in our minds

0101010001010010010010010101000001010000010010010100111001000111001000000100001001000001010000010100000101000001010000010100000101000001010011000100110001010011

01101000011000010110100001100001011010000110000101101000011000010110100001100001001000000110111101101000001000000100110101000001011011100010110000100000011101000110100001100101011100110110010100100000011100110111010001110101011010010111000001101001011001000010000001100110011101010110101101110011011100110010000001101100011001010110011001101001011101000010000001110100011010000110010101101001011100100010000001101100011000010111000001110100011011110111000000100000011011110110111000101100001000000110110001100111011011110110011101100101011001000010000001101001011011100010000001110100011011110010000001110100011010000110010101101001011100100010000001101100011000010110110101100101011100110110000101110011001000000110001001101100011011110110111101100111001000000110100001100001011010000110000100100000011011110110100000100000011011010110000101101110001011000010000001110111011010000110000101100001011101000010000001110011011101000111010101110000011001000110100100100000011001100111010101100011011010110111001100100000011010000110000101101000011000010010000001101111011010000010000001110011011010000110100101110100001011000010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110011001100101011011000111010000100000011000100110000101100100001011000010000001101001001000000111001101101000011100000110111101110101011001000110111000111011011101000010000001101000011000010111011001100101001000000111001101101101011011110110010101101011011001000010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000100101001101111011010010110111001110100001000000111011101101000011010010110110001100101001000000110010001110101011011100111001001101011001011100010111000101110011011110110100000100000011100110110100001101001011101000010000001101111011010000010000001110011011010000110100101110100001000000110111101101000001000000111001101101000011010010111010000100000011010010010011101101101001000000111010001110010011010010111000001110000011010010110111001100111001000000110001001000001011011000110110001110011001000000110000101101100011011000010000001101111011101100101001001000001001000000111010001101000011010010111001100100000011100000110110001100001011000110110010100100000011011110110100000100000011011010110000101101110001011000010000001100010011001010111010001110100011001010111001000100000011001110110111100100000011000100111010001101111011001010110100001110010001000000111010001101000011001010111001101100101001000000110011001010101011000110110101101100101011100100111001100100000011010000100000101101000011000010010000001101110011000010010000001101110011000010010000001110111011010000110000101110100011100110010000001101101011110010010000001001110010000010110110101100101

crcyuing

cant I can't I can't.

Jay is drinking and zie's laughing but there's a fucking crazy outside our window and he was there when I woke up that night and he just watches and he never moves except sometimes he's behind the back of the bar on the windo by the stair snad he just stares more than thte talll guy. the tall guy just painted our living room with blood one day. my brain just lsides from what it looked like because i jstu coudlen't and we covered up with paint but i can see it on the insides of my eeyes a place tood ark and too close antd not far enogh away. and iw as crying. the tall guy painted the room and the blood was from a little girl but we don't know for sure, she just showed up dead wone day. but there was blood all over the room the day she went missing.

just ggotta drink and smile and fill the hosue with sex and drugs and people because he won't come if there are too many people here he won't come if the house is full fill the house fill the brain. It's fuzz, like his distortion, but to keep the world away. I have to find some chick who likes my face so i can fuck her and ignore that we're alone and we're going to die. the blood is bleeidng through the walls I don'tw ant to look at them. need to sip a cup of something undrinkable ger away from the people towards the people stay wawy from the windows please get me another another

that guy dude

There is a guy outside. I don't know what he's doing. Standing. He has a mask. With a monocle. MOnocle mask! Do they make monocle masks? Mayve he had to make it herself. Hiself. It'self. I wonder why maks guy is outside. They need a name? Maybe some mask related name that is clever or something.

I KNOW! SINCLAIR!

SO sinclair is standing outside. And it si creeeeepy. I should go outside with ashotgun or something. BAM! Clint Eastwood. Get off my lawn. Though I don't have a lawn. I have a sidewalk. But I still wnt to do that. BAM!

I awnt a moncle. Totally want a moncle. Maybe i;ll take it from Sincliar. stupid guy on my lawn.

It's like there are rules

Like that you arent really an alvoholic if you fdrink with friends but when ew go out you realise that you're always drinking alone. You're alwasy dirnking alone. I don't even know if the people at this party are really people or if they're jsut the ivoice is in the heads agin. Even if there are peopela roudn you look around and there aren't people tehre. Is there anyone around? Oh good Jay is here. As long as Jay is here it'll be okay.

God hzie as drunk wayy too mucha again. Looks liek zie's about too puke, or fuck zis bleeding.

We'll eb back later, I swear. Blood and puke, jsut a regualr Saturday afternoon, right.

alex

This part is not happening so drop and stop

and rewind rewind rewind

There's nobody in thie house again. Tried to talk to the guy on the couch but it turns out he doesn't exist. Tell him to exist but he doesn't believe me.

Jay keeps singing because he thinks there's a careoke. karoeke. kareoke going on. Or because zie's going crazy. tryign to lock the door again or unlock it. or maybe I should just get more dbeer.

now zie's crying again. idiot. We should do something. Haven't left the apartment for a while but don't want to do that again. unless there's a party or something. really need more booze as well. So I guess I ahve to.

lights flickered. it's okay.

-alex

here ok here

said I'd post said I'd post said i'd post said i'd post
someone's doing coke in the bathroom
or no wait I'm imagining it it's 2 am no way and I'm not at a party I' in my own house
all alone

all alone

wjen did this stop beinga joke

fuck

FUCK
FUCK

FUCK



FUCK


JUST
NEVRMIND
JUST FUCK EVERYTHING
I HATE THIS SHIT
i hate this shit

Drinking the hair of the dog that bit me

Okay.
So I'm not exactly drinking the hair of the dog that bit me BUT i am drinking the hair of the dog I bit after another dog bit me, and by bit me i meaned BURNED ME WITH HIS HANDS i mean, wazs this because I didn't buy you a drink dude? I mean, fucking Jay was triing to buy you one before h went off to enjoy the benefits of john. John being the fucking bathroom. I hate bloggin and I hate Jay, so fucking stupid but's my best firend and shit anyway so. well. drinking. Just got up and it's the afternoon or something, not doing too well on that fornt. or doing REALLY WELL on that front. Or I need another glass of whiskey. or something.

my arm really hurts. because of HIS HANDS UBRN PEOPLE YOU COULD GET LOCKED UP FOR THAT OR AT LEAST NOT GET VERY GOOD SERVICE IN PUBS OW. it really hurts and everytime I move it hurts more so getting more booze makes it hurt. maybe if i pour some whisky on itas';dfghjls'kl;nb< ?>zcfg



That did not work. nobody tell Jay about htis right? ze had a really read the blgo anyway so theres no point btu  I DON'T KNOW THIS STUFF I DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS WHERK FUCK WHERE'S THE BOOZE
this was alesx by the way.

DANCIN!

LIVING IT UP LIKE A BLOODY CHAMP! I got a date tomorrow, and I'm dancin! I am Dancin like a champ! God I love dancin! WHEEE!

In all seriousness, totally need to relax a bit. Had the bartender buy suity a drink! Although, he didn't notice suity, and was very confused when I kept demanding it!

Weird suity suity suit guy! Suity. I like saying that. Suity suity suity. Like when you're calling a pig. SOUUUUIIIIIIE!

There's only one proper response to this! Grab another beer. And then a bourbon. And then a scotch. And then get George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers to blast through the wall like the Kool-Aid man and perform their damn song.

Gonna go pray to the procelain goddess now. She requires and offering of puke and gropey uncomfortable barely conscious sex.

-J

goddammit Alex

Alex is all trying to be coherent what is zie trying to prove

whatever bitch/basterd/whatever. I can hold my own just watch me. Fucking sobering up by force of will righttttttt.....NOW.

That tall fucker is still here. Worst party crasher I swear. But he's more than that I think. Scares Alex bad. I dunno maybe because he only shows up when I'm drunk but I am not scared of him. Alex is fucking around idek what zie's doing. Zie's saying something about fields. Magnetic fields? Zie fucking lovves that band and with good reason but i dunno if that's what zie's talking about right now.
fuck I have the spins. HEY let's finish this sixpack. or get into awkward emotional confessions now becaus god dammit i am scared. of the guy yes. but because of other things too. but mostly the tall guy. Please don't look at me with that faceless face anymore I can't handle it
don't LOOK AT ME
GET AWAY fuck oh fuck get away from alex get away from hir please oh please just leave us alone if I keep on drinking will you leave us alone

oh hey another bottle yes